Given a Choice

There’s a new thick glossy coffee table book about the making of the movie, 2001. It looks fantastic. I did the math and it would cost about $83 from Amazon.
Do I want this? Yes, no, yes, no.
I used my famous watch dial test; if I look at my watch right now and the seconds hand is in the top half I’ll get it and if it’s in the bottom half I won’t.
It was in the top half, but here’s the trick: My immediate reaction wasn’t “Yay,” it was “Oh,” so I won’t get it. Simple as that.
The way I see it, rather than making a choice, this way I’m reacting to an order from the dial. My immediate reaction to that order, my gut, will tell me what to do.
Besides, if I got the book I’m sure I’d pore over it for thirty minutes and then stash it away somewhere (I’m done!).
Red or Blue
Takapuna or Devonport
Takeout or cook at home
I do the watch dial test every time; of course I could flip a coin, but who has coins these days?

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Whew!

My latest depression lasted one week, followed by one day where my body was on red alert; so-called fight or flight mode. That’s a hard one to crack. All of those off the shelf relaxation techniques go right out the window.
In the end I think I cancelled it out by simply putting on some loose and comfortable clothes, and cuddling the cats. Ommm.

My latest depression

Since the drugs wore off my state of mind has been normal to euphoric, until last Wednesday when I suffered a financial setback that meant that we would be literally out of money for a week. That triggered a real depression (or maybe that depression would have come anyway, who knows?) that I’ve only popped out of today (Monday).
Nothing that I tried had any effect on the length of the depression, but I think the techniques I remembered and called on, prevented it from getting much worse. For instance I remembered that negative thoughts would enter my head, or sometimes just feelings, and that I wasn’t obligated to believe them or dwell on them. I said to myself that right now I’m in a state of depression: I’m not going to act or dwell on anything until its over.
At one stage I found myself very angry over something that happened, and I turned it around by giving that something a more positive spin. That spin might not be true but it dissipated the anger and that’s all that matters.